it's okay to not make anything. that sounds funny coming from a creative writer and an entrepreneur, doesn't it? i write books, make films and videos, and other stuff - that's what i do, right?
exactly. it's what i do.
if we were writers, artists, painters, musicians, dancers, and film makers then it might be a problem if we didn't make anything today. because if don't produce whatever it is that we identify ourselves as that means that we've actually lost our identity.
how can we be writers if we don't write? how can we be painters if we haven't produced any paintings in a while?
thankfully we can all breathe a sigh of relief right now, because we are not any of those things.
we aren't writers.
we're not artists,
see, writing and painting and making music, etc, they're all verbs. verbs, lovely, lovely verbs - and yes, each of which deserve to be celebrated and treasured! But they are not nouns. They are not definitions of who we are.
if you're used to introducing yourself by stating your profession or what it is that you do, it may have just felt a bit uncomfortable for you to read that last paragraph. that's completely normal...just embrace that for now and stick with me. ♥
when we begin to uncurl our fists and let go of these verbs that we use to describe ourselves, we begin to land in a new place - a new point of view. we begin to see ourselves and our art differently.
let me explain.
on days when i am a writer, i can physically feel a low grade anxiety bubbling on the backburner of my mind as i sit down to write. as i sit down at my laptop, i can't help but find myself wondering "will i be able to write today? and if not...will i be able to feel happy and fulfilled for the rest of the day? how will i be able to be happy if i can't write?"
as a writer, my identity, and thus happiness, is wrapped up in my ability, or lack thereof, to produce writing. when i can't write i feel burned out, frustrated, and unfulfilled.
on the flipside of that coin...
on days when i am a living, breathing, unique being (which btw is every day, even if sometimes i forget to be aware of it), my mind is typically much calmer as i sit down to write. i feel relaxed and i don't really care that much about whether or not i'll be able to write. if i do, great! if i don't, great! either way, i find that i am happy, whole, and fulfilled, because ultimately...
i am not a writer.
it is an action,
is a gift,
a passion, a pleasure, and a delight - yes.
but it is not an identity.
without action, or creation, or production of any kind,
i still am exactly who i am.
the most freeing feeling lies in the revelation of your own value apart from anything your could ever produce with your own effort. sitting in stillness with the sun on your face, without moving a muscle, you are worth more than the most immense treasure. you are invaluable.
and so it is okay when you do just that: when you make nothing. on days when the inspiration may not be present, or when you may need to or want to do other things, don't ever feel guilty - be empowered as a unique and beautiful creator. respect and enjoy exactly who you are today, without needing to make anything. making something is beautiful but it isn't necessary. whether you write or draw or make content you will still be who you are.
and you will be you beautifully. you are great at being. you were made for it, in fact. so roll your shoulders back, stretch, yawn - take a deep breath, smile. feel your lungs fill and expand with air, feel the energy flowing throughout your body. Rub your thumbs slowly over the pads of your fingers. Closing your eyes, gently whisper: thank you.
thank you for these hands. mmm, these sweet, creative hands. they can make so many beautiful things. they can bring dreams into reality. i love these hands. but these hands are still beautiful even when they are not making a single thing.
this mind is beautiful even when it's not thinking about anything more than the birdsongs.
this body is beautiful even when it's not working out, or dressed up, or working hard, or rushing around.
this mouth is beautiful even when it's not speaking any wise or grand words.
i am beautiful because I simply am.