live a life that honors

i want to live a life that honors the grieving single mom as she raises her kids alone and takes them to visit their daddy's grave; who still sleeps with her husband's shirts just to remember what he smelled like.

i want to live a life that honors the young woman who kissed her fiance goodbye in the airport and didn't realize as he smiled and lifted her chin that this would be the last time she saw his face, heard his heart pounding beneath his uniform, tasted his lips or breathed in his scent.

i want to live a life that honors the single dad who feels lost without the woman he promised he would stand by until the end; who wishes he was still sharing a closet with her clothes and cleaning up all her clutter in the bathroom.

i want to live a life that honors the beautiful beautiful little souls who don't understand yet that their mom or their dad won't be coming home from deployment.

i want to live a life that honors THEM.

i want to live a life that is worthy of the fallen men and women - heroes - who have died to make me free.

i have no right not to love, cherish, and live my life well; for it is a gift...a priceless gift, that cost many their absolute all. never, never, never forget those who have died to protect you.

remember. never forget. live well... honor them. 


instead of mountains

the trees rose like great glorious fingers against a sky spun of cream and citrus. the shades of rust leaked down on the roof, filled the gutters and spilled onto the slats of the porch where we sat cross legged sipping cold coffees in tin mugs.

it was the summer of my seventeenth, and his twenty second year, lost in that great big woods under those eaves, living like his parents never wanted him to. i liked poetry but no matter how much i tried to describe him i could never get his face right using words. he looked the way is smells after it rains in a forest no man has seen. crumpled clothes and black curls bent over a soft notebook. he had fingers like sapling branches, long and thin and splotched with ink.

i asked if it ever bothered him, living out here in the quiet, so far from everything he knew.

"it's this place that i know," he replied without stopping. "this place with it's streams carving paths through the forest bed, and its howls at night. its this place that i know."

"you ever wish..."


i felt strange saying it, no one ever did because to everyone else it made no sense and we'd accepted the fact. he was the family disappointment; the anomaly among fake friends.

"that you'd chosen different," i said. "that you'd stayed. finished school. found a girl. something like that - got a car and a house."

"this is a house."

"but you're almost never in it, and you know what i mean."

"yes. yes, i know."

and the pen scratched on for a minute before he set it down, tipping his head back, his adams apple drifted up and then down again.

"life is about choosing mountains," he said quietly. "choosing the places where you know you can breathe. where you know you are free. and sometimes, maybe for some that's school... or a car or a girl." his head rocked slowly as he shook it. "but i prefer the mountains that you find when you leave the worn out path behind."

"but what about what they say?"

he shrugged a shoulder. "we all say something. we all yell our opinions at the sky, and when we've finished there's nothing but hot air and people standing side by side... all the same. making cases for why their mountain is the right one. but there is no right one, there's just mountains..."

i looked at him, thinking hard. watching the light paint his face.

"and there's just people... and it's only when we turn them into trail guides that we begin to lose something inside ourselves." his voice quieted.

he turned and looked at me, and i felt that restless longing a bird must feel when it peers between the bars of it's cage and sees its likeness soaring.

"we're all just people..." he said. "people with different experiences and hurts and thoughts and feelings. and some of them think the schools and the cars and the cubes where you write the papers all day will fill them up..."

he paused, looking down at the notebook. flipping it so i could see the inky black trees and a great red sun rolling away behind a jagged peak.

"but sometimes, after you've tried all of it, you realize what you were looking for was never inside any of those. it's home, buried beneath your bed," he laid one hand over his heart. "buried beneath your flesh."

my lips curved and he tore the drawing out and extended it to me.

"the trouble comes when we start talking like people," he said. "instead of mountains."


i hope monday is as rest-filled as sunday, my friends. 


a special favor to ask

there are so many exciting moments that come with publishing... but for me, that is only ever because it means i am getting to share another story with you guys. i've honestly never bought the hype, and i wouldn't recommend it - the whole publishing, getting 'noticed' by people, getting talked about... it's all part of the word being spread, and it's great, but it's never why you do it, or at least it shouldn't be. it should always be about the story, and why you wrote it in the first place.

anyway, all that to say, this past week i experienced an exciting milestone in the journey with Worlds Beneath when the book went live on goodreads and amazon. one step closer to being in your hands... and that's cool. that's worth getting excited about.

i honestly don't like to talk about the book much, i like it to mean whatever it's going to mean to the reader in and of itself. i don't want readers to connect to 'me' but hopefully to themselves in the story. yes, Worlds Beneath means a heck of a lot to me... it's a journey, it's a way of life for me, and it has a lot of meaning, but what gets me stoked is to hear someone say that it has meaning for them.

i filmed a video just so i could say 'in person' how much you mean to me -  and also a little about how much adding the book on goodreads affects Worlds Beneath. <3

so all that said, if you have a moment, could you add World Beneath to your want-to-read shelf on Goodreads? it would be a MASSIVE help & mean so, so much to me.

add it HERE.

you can also snag Worlds Beneath for a special pre-release price right now on amazon. and, as i said in the video, you'll find it on your kindle the moment it comes out. be an early adopter. ;)

in other news, i'm back from a month long surf/camping trip and warm days have finally returned to good old vermont, along with long writing days & many cups of coffee and vitamin b12. funny story: i spent half the trip with a broken phone which was honestly a blessing in disguise because now i may just write an entire post about why you should throw your cell phone out le window and go listen to the birds and see what they have to say to you. that's the real twitter. ;)

SO TELL ME, are you working on a WIP novel? or any other exciting projects? HAVE YOU READ THE BLOOD RACE*? and if so, do you plan on reading Worlds Beneath? let's chat <3 i love you guys.

* if not, here, have the first 9 chapters.